Family: Resolving Discord

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Matthew 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is aangry with his brother bwithout a cause shall be cin danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, dRaca, shall be ein danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Ways to Resolve Family Discord

Friend March 2022 “What’s on Your Mind?” Sometimes my siblings and I argue and fight. What can I do to get along with them better? (See more at link)

Friend September 2019 “3 Ways to Get Along With Others” Love them, forgive them, treat them the way you wanted to be treated. (Includes Golden Rule activity and coloring page.)

Friend May 2019 “What’s on Your Mind” Ideas on how to get along with siblings.

Friend February 2017 “Question Corner” Children’s ideas in how to deal with family members who are being annoying.

Friend June 2017 “For Parents of Little Ones” Ideas for helping children learn how to get along with each other.

Friend February 2017 “Question Corner” Children’s ideas in how to deal with family members who are being annoying.

Friend May 2017 “Hi Friends” When my brother and I fight, I sing the Primary song “Jesus Said Love Everyone.” It helps me be more like Jesus. Nora P., age 4, Florida, USA

Remember How Special Family Relationships Are

Lesson 13: Jacob and Esau,” Primary 6: Old Testament

  1. Have the children tell about good experiences they have had with their own brothers and sisters. Remind the children that because families can be together forever, they should love and help their brothers and sisters. Share the following quotation with the children: “Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1986, p. 56; or Ensign, May 1986, p. 43).
  2. Have the children discuss family situations such as the following (adapt these if needed and add others to suit the needs of your class):
    • Your younger sister wants you to play with her instead of going to your friend’s house.
    • Your older brother is preparing dinner and asks you to help even though it is not your turn.
    • Your brother is studying for a test in school. You are watching a television program that is distracting him from his studies.How many solutions can you think of for these situations? Which solutions would bring temporary pleasure? Which solutions would bring eternal happiness? Encourage the children to be forgiving and understanding at home.

 Friend February 2018 “Peter the Pest” Matthew is angry that his little brother, Peter,  always wants to do everything he does and breaks his model dinosaur. His father explains that Matthew is probably the most important person in the world to Peter, and that is why he wants to do eerything he does.  Matthew chooses to calm down and apologize to Peter, and their relationship grows stronger.(Also see Lesson Ideas on how to control anger.)

Friend September 2021 “My Side, Your Side” Megan and Mia argue about who’s mess is who’s when cleaning up their room. They want their own rooms. Their mom puts a curtain up in the room to divide it. At first they like it, but then they got lonely and bored. One of them suggested they make a mailbox to write notes to each other. They invite each other to play. Pretty soon they don’t want the curtain because it just gets in the way.

Friend October 2016 “Gone Fishing” Hayden is annoyed that his noisy little brother, Dan, has come fishing with him and his dad, but when Dan disappears Hayden is fearfully worried and realizes how much he loves his little brother.

Friend September 2020 “Loving Our Families”When President Eyring felt frustrated with one of his children for jumping on the bed and was about to get angry, the Holy Ghost reminded him of what a special person his son is. The Holy Ghost can help us too.

Treat Each Other Way You Want to Be Treated

Friend September 2019

Jesus taught the Golden Rule: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (Matthew 7:12).

It is easy to understand why we should treat others the way we would like to be treated. It is because each of God’s sons and daughters is precious (see Matthew 25:40).

Listen to Each Other

Solve the Problem Together

Try to Understand Their Feelings

Respect Each Other’s Feelings

Friend June 2017 “Tickling Trouble”  Lizzie and Max learn that we should listen to and respect each other. Pillow fights and tickling is only fun when everyone is having fun.

Try to Show Love (Say and Do Nice Things)

Friend August 2018 “Sisters and Turtles” Ellie’s sister has been grumpy; she got mad at Ellie for sitting on her bed. Ellie gives her sister a special turtle necklace that represents helping someone who gets turned over. Ellie tells her sister she wants to help her get back on her feet whenever she is sad or upset.

Friend February 2019 “Matt and Mandy” Matt and Mandy have a fight, but by dinner time they had forgotten what it was about. They show extra kindness to each other as a way of making amends.

Look for the Good

Friend September 2021 “Saying the Nice Things” Jonathon wasn’t looking forward to the weekend because lately there had been more bickering and teasing in the family. He prayed for help figuring out a way to make things better. Then he had an idea for home evening. When he conducted, he started a new thing where whoever conducts says a nice thing about each family member. Everyone felt warm and happy after Jonathon said nice things about them.

Take Time to Calm Down

Ask Yourself “What Would Jesus Do?”

Friend May 2017 “Hi Friends” When my brother and I fight, I sing the Primary song “Jesus Said Love Everyone.” It helps me be more like Jesus. Nora P., age 4, Florida, USA

Apologize and Figure Out How to Make It Better

Friend April 2024 “We Can Solve It”

Friend August 2017 “For Parents of Little Ones” Teaching little ones empathy and how to apologize and make things right after they have hurt a sibling.

Friend June 2021 “Trying Together” Jack was mad because his mom yelled at him. He had made several wrong choices, including fighting with his brother and not cleaning up his messes. He was also sad. He wished he hadn’t made all those bad choices. He apologized to his mother, and she apologized for yelling. Jack tried to make things right with his mother’s help.

Friend April 2017 “The Blue Sunglasses” Sarah accidently breaks her big sister’s sunglasses. She does her best to make things right.

Friend May 2019 “Five-Year-Olds-Only” Kyle built a great blanket fort but didn’t want to let his little sister in it because she breaks his things. He feels bad though because it made her sad and cry, so he apologizes and invites her in. Afterwards he feels like the fort is even better.

Friend March 2023 “Carousel Kindness” Damien was excited to show his little sister the carousel and the ring game on it. But he got mad at her when she didn’t do it right. He felt bad and apologized and helped her the next time.

Pray for Help

Friend August 1988 “Raymond and the Horrible Little Pest” Raymond says some very mean things to his brother and feels terrible. He prays for help to know how to fix things.

Forgive

Genesis 33:1–4

Most children know what it’s like to be angry with a sibling. The story of how Jacob and Esau overcame their anger toward each other may be inspiring to them

  • Help the children remember why Esau was angry at Jacob (see Genesis 27:41 or “Jacob and Esau” in Old Testament Stories). Ask the children to show you what an angry face looks like. Explain that after many years, Jacob was afraid to visit Esau. Ask the children to show you what a scared face looks like. What should we do when we are afraid? Invite the children to pretend to pray while you read what Jacob said in his prayer (see Genesis 32:11). Then read in Genesis 33:4 what happened when Esau saw Jacob. Ask the children to show you how Jacob’s and Esau’s faces might have looked when they saw each other again.
  • Show the picture of Jacob and Esau found in this outline. Let the children describe what they see in the picture. Tell them that there had been bad feelings between these two brothers, but they chose to forgive each other. Help the children think of how they could show more love to someone in their family, just as Jacob and Esau showed love to each other.

Come, Follow Me—For Individuals and Families: Old Testament 2022 “Genesis 28–33” After many years of hard feelings, Jacob and Esau were reunited. If Jacob and Esau could talk to us today, what might they say to help us when there is contention in our family?

Friend May 2018 “Joseph Forgives His Brothers”

Friend May 2020 “Sister Squabble” Jaide’s little sister borrowed her tennis shoes without asking and accidentally got them muddy. Jaide was so mad that she told her sister,  “I wish you weren’t my sister.” She felt terrible about what she said.  She read a scripture about Jesus forgiving and healing someone and she realized, she needed to forgive and try and fix what she had done to her sister with her words. 

Friend June 2019 “The Slipper Slip-Up” Bailey loved playing princesses, and she loved the little glass slipper she kept on her shelf that reminded her of princesses. One evening, after reading her a story, her dad accidentally bumped into the shelf and knocked the slipper off and broke it. She was heartbroken, but she told her dad that she forgives him because she loves her dad more than any toy.

Friend March 2018 “Haircut Disaster” Max is kind to his mom and forgives her when she makes a major mistake while cutting his hair.

Friend March 2015 Boy forgives mom for breaking Lego space jet.

Friend March 2015

Pray for Help

Friend March 2016

Old Testament Stories “Jacob and His Family” images

Genesis 32:6–1133:1–4

Come, Follow Me—For Primary: Old Testament 2022 “Genesis 28-33” Esau was mad at Jacob, and Jacob was afraid to see Esau again, even after 20 years of being apart. But Jacob prayed for help, and Esau was able to overcome his anger.

  • Ask the children what they remember about the relationship between Jacob and Esau (see Genesis 27:41 or “Jacob and Esau” in Old Testament Stories). Explain that after being away for about 20 years, Jacob was going to meet Esau again. Read together Genesis 32:6–11. How did Jacob feel? What did he do to get help? Testify that we can ask Heavenly Father for help when our family relationships are difficult. Read together Genesis 33:1–4 to discover how the Lord answered Jacob’s prayer..
  • “Jacob and Esau” (October 1994 Friend)
    Find out what happened when Esau met Jacob by matching words to the shapes in a tent.

Spend Quality Time Together

Friend November 2018 “Sister Date”  Rachel and Brianna have a bad fight over which tv show to watch. The older sister, Brianna, decides they need to go on sister date and have some fun time together, and this quality time helps them become best friends again.

Friend January 2017 “Time for Addison” Tom doesn’t want his little sister to knock over the tower he built after school, but his little sister misses him and wants to spend time with him, so he figures out something they can do together.

Friend August 2019 “The Get Along Bucket” When Amy and Garrett fight, their mom gets out the “Get-Along Bucket.” They have to choose an activity from the bucket and then  do it together, and before long, they are having fun together.

Friend July 2015 – A girl learns that she controls how she reacts to annoying brother.