Self-Esteem: Lesson Ideas

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Jesus Christ can help weak things become strong.

Ether 12:23–27

As children get older, they become more aware of their weaknesses. Use these verses to teach them how the Savior can make “weak things become strong” (Ether 12:27).

  • Describe for the children a task that would require a lot of physical strength to accomplish. Invite them to share examples of things they aren’t strong enough to do now. How could we become strong enough to accomplish these tasks? Explain that we also have spiritual work to do, but we sometimes feel spiritually weak. Moroni felt this way about his writings on the plates (Ether 12:23–25). Read Ether 12:27 to the children. What did the Lord promise those who feel weak?
  • Share an experience in which the Savior helped you or someone you know do something that was hard. Testify to the children that if they seek His help, Jesus can help them be strong, even when they feel weak.
  • Invite the children to draw a picture of something weak and something strong. Then invite them to add to their drawing some words and phrases from Ether 12:23–29 that teach them about how the Savior can help us turn our weakness into strength. Encourage the children to think about a weakness they might have and then seek the Savior’s help to become strong.

Why does the Lord give us weakness? What is our part in making “weak things become strong”? What is the Savior’s part?

“Weak Things Stronger.” In this Friend article, Parker learns that he doesn’t have to be perfect and that the Savior is there to help him.

Friend June 2018 “For Parents of Little Ones” Helping little ones understand and talk about their feelings.

Friend March 2022 “He Is There” Song and Music Video

2. Do you ever stop to think What your Heavenly Father sees When He looks at you?

He smiles brighter than the sun When He sees His precious one; There’s just one like you!

So take comfort when that quiet voice reminds you:

Chorus 2: He is there, greater than any challenge. God is there, watching you as you grow,

Sending comfort in the night, Helping you know and choose what’s right.

You’re not alone, for He is always there. So keep trying, keep growing;

Keep praying, keep knowing:God loves you so, and He is always there.

Handout Ideas

Friend September 2019 “Bright Idea” You are strong. You are loved. The world is better because of you!

Afraid of Trying New Things and Failing

Friend February 2020 “What’s on Your Mind?” A child writes to the Friend saying that sometimes he is afraid to try new things because he might fail. The Friend magazine reminds him that all people who are really good at something started out as beginners, and it’s okay to make mistakes. They also share some examples of people who weren’t very good when they first started, but they kept trying and eventually became successful.

Friend September 2024 “What’s on Your Mind?” Maybe you think that if you don’t do things perfectly, you are a failure. But that’s not true! In fact, mistakes can help you learn and improve.

Making Mistakes

Frustration with Imperfection

Friend June 2019 “What’s on Your Mind?” Somebody writes the Friend about trying to do things right but failing. The Friend responds by saying that Heavenly Father doesn’t expect you to be perfect right away. He sent you here to learn and grow, little by little. (Also, includes a fill-in-the-blank activity about scriptures that discuss growing little by little.)

Friend July 2024 “What’s on Your Mind?”

Learn from them and try again

Friend February 2019 “Bright Idea” Handout that says, “Everyone makes mistakes. Heavenly Father will help me learn and grow and try again.”

Friend September 2019 “For Parents of Little Ones” When children are so afraid of making a mistake that they refuse to try something new, they can miss out on a lot of growth and wonderful experiences! This article contains some ideas on how to help children realize that making mistakes is an important part of learning.

Don’t Give Up

Friend September 2023 “The Cake Mistake” Shiloh planned a beautiful layered cake to enter into the school contest, but things didn’t go well. It didn’t look anything like her plans. She wanted to throw it away because she thought she would get last place. Her mom said a prayer for Hannah to be happy with what she had done. Shiloh decided it didn’t look that bad, and she had had fun making it. She was even able to win second place. She was glad she hadn’t given up because it wasn’t perfect.

Positive Self Talk

Friend November 2023 “Conference Notes”

Elder Stevenson invited us to stop each time we see ourselves in a mirror and say, “Wow, look at me! I am amazing! I am a child of God! He knows me! He loves me!” Doing this will help us remember who we really are and how God and the Holy Ghost can help us.

This teaches me:

Friend May 2021 “Encouraging Words” If something goes wrong and you’re feeling bad, try writing yourself an encouraging note!

New Era February 2018 “Change Your Thinking”

Friend June 2017 “Family Night Fun” What do you say to yourself when you need to do something tough? Try the ideas in this article. You can do it!

Fear of what Others Think

Doctrine and Covenants 30:1–2

Friend February 2017 “Conference Cards” Handout that says, ““The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us.”

Feeling Good About What Makes You Unique

Friend November 2016. Trees, fruits, flowers, and animals are all different shapes, colors, and sizes. Heavenly Father made people different too! You can feel good about who you are and what makes you special. Use your answers from the questions below to draw a picture that represents you!

Friend November 2016

You are a Hero

Friend September 2020 “Bright Idea” Whether you feel like a hero or not, you are one! You are the hero of your own life’s story.

Each of Us is of Great Worth to God.

Doctrine and Covenants 18:10–12

Come, Follow Me—For Primary: Doctrine and Covenants 2021 “Doctrine and Covenants 18–19: “The Worth of Souls Is Great”

Many people struggle with feelings of low self-worth; others are unkind toward people who are different from them. The powerful message of Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 can change how we view ourselves and people around us.

Repeat verse 10 with the children, this time replacing “souls” with the children’s names.

Help the children think of things that people consider valuable. Then let the children take turns looking in a mirror, and as they do, tell each child that he or she is a child of God and of great worth. Testify that to Heavenly Father, they are more valuable than all the things they thought of earlier.

  • Ask each child to write his or her name on a piece of paper and pass the papers around the room. Invite them to write on each paper they receive something they like about that person. Encourage them to be kind and thoughtful in their comments. Then help the children read Doctrine and Covenants 18:10–12, and invite them to share what they learn about how God feels about us. Explain that we are all of great worth to God because we are His children.
  • Show the children something that is very valuable to you. How do we treat things that are valuable to us? Ask a child to read Doctrine and Covenants 18:10. How can we show other people that “the worth of [their] souls is great” in our sight?

Come, Follow Me—For Individuals and Families: Doctrine and Covenants 2021 “Doctrine and Covenants 18–19: “The Worth of Souls Is Great”

Each family member could read Doctrine and Covenants 18:10–13 and substitute his or her name in place of the words “soul,” “souls,” and “all men.” You could then discuss how these verses help us understand our worth to the Father and the Son (see Doctrine and Covenants 19:16–19).

Liahona February 2021 “Your Worth is Great” Family Study Fun: Circle of Worth

Circle of Worth: Oliver Cowdery and David Whitmer were counseled to remember that “the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10). As we help others to see their own worth, we bring them nearer to Christ while becoming closer to Him ourselves.

  1. Invite family members to sit in a circle.
  2. Each person will take a turn standing in the middle of the circle.
  3. Everyone sitting in the circle will tell the middle person, “You matter to me because ___________,” and share specific details of why that person is of worth to them.
  4. The middle person will then choose their own statement of personal worth: “I matter to God and myself because __________.”

Discussion: Why is it important to remember our own worth as well as the worth of those around us? If Christ were in the circle, what would He say about us? Read Doctrine and Covenants 18:10–13 and discuss what Christ went through because of how much He loves and values us.

Friend February 2021 “Scripture Time Fun”

Friend February 2021 “Scripture Time for Little Ones” For Doctrine and Covenants 18–19: Help your little ones say, “I am important to Heavenly Father.” Then sing “I Am a Child of God” (Children’s Songbook, 2) and have your children give themselves a hug when they sing the words, “I am a child of God.”

Friend November 2020 “We are Moving Forward”

For the Strength of Youth March 2024 “12 Scriptures for When You Feel â€¦”

Friend April 2021 “Things to Remember”

For additional teaching ideas see “Child of God and Love of God


Self-Esteem: Stories

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Frustration with Imperfection

Friend June 2019 “Weak Things Stronger” Parker gets frustrated with himself when he doesn’t succeed at something he is trying to do like playing the piano or dirt biking. His moms showed him a scripture about Jesus helping with weaknesses. She also reminds him that it takes time to learn, grow, and get better. He learns to be kind and patient with himself and remember that he is getting a little better each time he does something.

Friend September 2019 “Almost Perfect Meg” Meg wanted her clothes and appearance to be perfect. She didn’t want to play in sandboxes or play tag because she might get dirty. Everything changed when she got a puppy for her birthday. She loved her puppy, but puppies are messy. She decided it was okay to be messy now and then so she could play with him. She started worrying less about the mess and even started trying new things like playing in the sandbox.

Friend September 2020 “Scarf Wars” Chakell and her friend Jack are constantly competing in school, but they usually tie. She wants to be the best at something, and she hoped the scarf making project would do that. But she struggled with it. She thought that asking for help meant that she wasn’t smart. Her mom reminded her that everyone needs help in life.

Keep Practicing

Friend June 2024 “Elise the Engineer” Elise wants to be an engineer when she grows up, but one day at school she couldn’t figure out how to do a math problem. She began to think she wasn’t smart enough to be an engineer, but her sister said, “When something is hard, that doesn’t mean you aren’t smart. It just means you need more practice.” With her sister’s help she was able to learn how to do the math problem, and her confidence returned. She knew that if she worked hard she could someday be an engineer.

Look for What You Can Do

Friend September 2018 “My Talents” Action rhyme of things little ones find that they can do.

Heavenly Father and Jesus Love You

Friend October 2019 “I Don’t Want to Be Different” Mika loved going to dance class. When the dancers all moved together she felt like she wasn’t the only one with Down Syndrome. But one day, when she asked for help with a new dance step, some girls said she talked funny. Mika wished she wasn’t different than other people. Her mother suggested that she pray and ask Heavenly Father how he feels about her. She got a loud answer that He loves her just the way she is, so she stopped worrying about what the other girls thought and started focusing on helping others who looked sad.

Friend April 2022 “Somebody Loves You” When Sister Susan H. Porter, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, was on her way to a new job, she started worrying that she wasn’t good enough. Then she had a clear feeling to try her best and remember that even if it doesn’t go well, there’s somebody who loves her.

Trying but Failing

Friend January 2020 “Try Pie” Eliza tried out for volleyball team. She had practiced and prepared, but she didn’t make it. She wanted to hide in her bedroom, but her mom made her favorite, Key Lime Pie. Eliza asked why they were having dessert, and her father told her, â€śPart of learning new things means not always succeeding. That can be scary. But the important thing is you still tried.” Her parents were proud of her for trying something hard, and they thought that was worth celebrating with pie!

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Friend July 2024 “Margo and Paolo” Paulo is worried to do his book report because he gets nervous talking in front of others. When he gets home from school his family wanted to celebrate, but he says he dropped the poster and messed up the words. His grandmother reminds him that he tried his best and the important thing is what he learned. They are very proud of him.

Friend September 2018 “Matt and Mandy” Mandy is sad she didn’t get elected to student council, but she realizes she did her best. She decides to share her ideas with the new student council and try again next year to get elected by working hard to meet more students.

Friend July 2024 “Raina Tries Again” Raina enters an essay contest but doesn’t win. She is discouraged and tells her parents she will never try anything new again. Her father tells her about the many times he didn’t get the job he applied for before he got the one that was perfect for him. Her mother tells her about the many stories she submitted that got rejected by magazines, but she doesn’t give up because she loves writing. Raina decides she won’t give up too because that is what Heavenly Father would want her to do.

Friend February 2019 “Babysitting Blunders” Emma thought she could handle babysitting Reyna, but then Reyna flushed a whole roll of toilet paper while Emma was getting a drink. Water flowed out of the toilet and made a huge mess. Emma was devastated, but her mom and older sister weren’t mad at her. Emma had done her best to be a good aunt and that’s what mattered. Plus, she and Reyna had learned from the experience.

Healthy Ways to Deal with Failure

New Era February 2020 “Couch Potato” Cartoon shows two ways to deal with failure. One is not healthy and does not allow you to learn and grow.

Making Mistakes

Friend January 2019 “Stung by the Spelling Bee” Allie made a mistake in the spelling bee and mispelled an easy word. She felt awful and didn’t want to do anything but lie in bed and dwell on the mistake. She felt like she had failed herself and her parents. But in Primary on Sunday she heard a familiar song that reminded her that her parents (heavenly and earthly) loved her, and she felt the Spirit telling her that as long as she was trying to do her best, that was good enough. (Refreshment idea to go with story.)

 “The Stuttering Struggle”  A boy who stutters is asked to narrate the primary program. He practices, and learns that in doing ones best we still make mistakes and it’s okay. Friend November 2015.

Fear of Trying New Things

Friend April 2015 “Awkward”  Hilary was afraid to try new things because others might think she looks ridiculous, so she missed out on lots of fun, new experiences, until she decided to change.

Shyness & Quietness

Friend August 2020 “Quiet is Okay” Evie was excited for volleyball camp, but she is also a little nervous because she was a little quiet. Her mom told her she didn’t have to change her personality and  it was okay to be herself. At the end of camp she got an award for being the quiet leader, for working hard and being a good example because actions speak louder than words.

Friend August 2017 “Chameleons and New Friends” Isabell feels shy about meeting a family from Russia. She is afraid she won’t be able to talk to them because they speak a different language. But she learns that she doesn’t want to be like her chameleon that hides and misses out on all the fun.

Being Tall or Small

Friend November 2016 “Parker’s Big Problem” Parker is much taller than the other kids. He doesn’t fit in his desk and he is awkward.

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Friend September 2022 “Small Things Make a Difference!” Jed is the smallest in his class. Sometimes he wishes he could be taller, but regardless of his height he can do many good things. Values are more important than height.

Friend November 2022 “Just the Right Size” Kids at school tease Trina because she is so small. Josie, from her Primary class, was kind and made her feel better. Then on Sunday, her class decorated a board with hearts that said things they love about her, like her smile and her big heart. Then her teacher told her, “Heavenly Father loves each one of us. Short. Tall. Big. Small. That doesn’t matter to Him. We are all His children, and He loves every single one.”

Don’t Compare Yourself with Others

Friend February 2024 “Ana Learns Her Worth” Ana’s older sister, Mila, was better at everything than Ana. She was better at school. She had more friends. She had prettier hair. She was better at sports. Everyone loved Mila. One day Ana got really upset when Mila won again. She went to her room and said a prayer asking for help because she felt like she would never be good enough. A thought came to her mind that Heavenly Father loved people because they were His children. Not because they were the best. Ana didn’t have to be better than anyone else to be loved.

Friend October 2017 “Matt and Mandy” Mandy wishes she was as smart and popular as Abby, but Abby wishes she was more like Mandy. Mandy realizes we should see the good in ourselves.

Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful

Friend March 1988 “Invisible Trophies” Susan would like to earn a trophy like her other family members, but she learns that the good things she does are more important.

Friend November 2018 “An A+ Choice” Brett is upset that his grades aren’t better even though he tried his hardest to do well, but he still compliments his sister who got all A’s.  His parents remind him that school grades aren’t the most important grades in life, it’s the A+ choices he makes, such as how hard he tries and how he treats his sister.

We are all supposed to be different

Friend May 2022 “The Job Test” When Jeffery got the results of his job test, he was shocked that his top result was florist. His friend laughed and said Jeffery liked weird stuff. He did like art and playing the piano, which was different than the other boys. His eyes filled with tears when he told his dad. His dad explained that Heavenly Father gave us our talents, and we are supposed to be different so we can all do different things in life, and that doesn’t make us weird. But we also get to choose what we do with our talents.

Beauty Comes from Within

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Friend August 2016 “Hands, Heart, and a Smile” Lydia learns that a being kind and strong is what makes a person beautiful.

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Friend May 2016  “Picture Day” Girl learns that it’s not  clothes that make you beautiful, it’s who you are inside.

Laugh at Yourself

Friend May 2020 “Matt and Mandy” Mandy dropped her lunch tray and everyone laughed. Matt wore his shirt inside out accidentally. They  laughed and joked together about the embarrassing  mistakes they had made that day.

Friend February 1988 “When the Heart Understands” As Miguel makes mistakes while learning English, he learns to laugh with his friends instead of feeling hurt.

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Wonderful Differences in Culture and Color

Friend January 2017 “This Little Light of Mine” Dinah feels uncomfortable when a child at school notices their differences in hair and skin color. Dinah’s mother helps Dinah see that there is lots of wonderful variety in skin color, and our traits represent the family we come from, just as how we treat others represent that we are followers of Jesus.

Friend January 1987 “Martin Makes a Friend” Martin wishes he wasn’t Chinese, but when his mother comes to class and shares their culture, he realizes that the Chinese culture is cool.

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Look for the Good

Friend October 2020 “I Am Special” Andrew didn’t feel very special after playing super heroes, so he prayed to feel better. At school the next day the teacher assigned them to write about the things they love about themselves. He thought of a whole page of things, and he heard a quiet voice whisper, “And most importantly, you are a child of God.”

Friend January 2016 “Lots to Like” Colton is mad at himself for making a mistake. His mother helps him make a list of good things about himself.

Friend January 2016
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Friend October 1983 – Girl learns to look for the good things she does

Friend October 1983

Not Caring so much about what Others Think

Friend February 2022 “Danilo’s Dad” Danilo got teased at school because his dad was the custodian. He tried to avoid his dad at school. Then his dad got an award for the best teacher because he was a hard worker and always cheerful, and he taught that by example. Danilo knew how hard his father worked, and also, his dad didn’t let what others say bother him. Maybe his dad could teach Danilo how to do that. He gave his dad a big hug and told him he was proud of him.

Friend March 2020 “Eddy and the Book of Mormon” Some kids laugh at Eddy when he reads at school because he has a hard time with some words. It makes him nervous and not want to read out loud. But as his family read the Book of Mormon each day (first they figured out a way to remember to read each day), Eddy learns about Nephi and how his brothers made fun of him for building a boat. That didn’t stop Nephi. He trusted God, and God helped him do hard things. Next time some kids laughed at him while Eddy read in class, he thought of Nephi, and that helped him not to worry about what the kids would say.