For the Strength of Youth October 2023 “Why is it so important to control my language?”
Your words show what is in your heart. Jesus Christ taught, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). “Make sure your language reflects love of God and others” (For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices [2022], 12).
Controlling your language shows self-discipline. James taught, “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body” (James 3:2).
A disciple’s words should be uplifting. The Apostle Paul taught, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).
What you say affects your ability to have the Spirit. “Foul language is both degrading and harmful to the spirit” (Gospel Topics, “Profanity,” topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Friend August 2000 “Sharing Time: A Beautiful Tapestry” Ask several children how their parents chose their names. Say their names with varying voice inflections—excitement, annoyance, love, and so on. Ask how hearing their names said different ways made them feel. Display several names of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. Remind the children that they are keeping their baptismal covenant as they speak reverently of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and never swear or use crude words.
Ensign April 2017 “The Words We Use”
The Lord taught that sacred things “must be spoken with care” (D&C 63:64). It’s so common to hear the Lord’s name misused that kids might not understand why it’s wrong. Talk about why we should speak respectfully of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Jean B. Bingham, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, taught: “Words have surprising power, both to build up and to tear down. … Choosing to say only that which is positive about—and to—others lifts and strengthens those around us” (“I Will Bring the Light of the Gospel into My Home,” Ensign, Nov. 2016, 7).
Object Lesson Idea
Place a clean sponge in clean water and another in dirty water. When the sponges are full, take them out and squeeze them to show what kind of water comes out. Explain that our minds soak up words and ideas; what we’ve soaked up is what comes out. What kind of language do you want to soak up? Using good language doesn’t mean just not swearing—it also means using language that’s honest, kind, and respectful. We can choose to soak up good things that please Heavenly Father so we can have the Holy Ghost with us. Explain how, with repentance, we can become clean from any bad influences we’ve soaked up.
Friend April 2017 Read “Brock and the Bad Word.” Write a list of good ways to use language. What can you do when other people use bad language?
Friend June 2023 “How Can I Learn to Use Good Language?” By Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Profanity Used by Others
Can’t get away from it? Ideas on what to do
Friend August 2019 “Speaking Up” Sometimes people keep swearing, even after we ask them to stop. Or we’re in a situation where we can’t ask others to stop. Here are some things you can do:
Your Words Matter
Choose to Use Kind Words
I can speak with kindness.(Jr)
Show pictures of something sweet and something sour. Help the children understand that Heavenly Father asks us to use our tongues to say sweet (or kind) things and not sour (or unkind) things (see James 3:10). Help them think of examples of nice things we can say to others. (Come, Follow Me—For Primary: New Testament 2023 “James”)
Friend October 2019 “Words Matter” The words we say make a big difference. Trace your finger along the lines to see how the words you say can make others feel. Also, make some kind notes to give to others.
Come, Follow Me—For Individuals and Families: New Testament 2023 “James”
James 3 includes many images that could inspire memorable object lessons to help your family remember to speak kindly. For example, you could build a fire together and talk about how a small, unkind word can cause a big problem (see verses 5–6). Or you could serve something sour in something that is usually used for sweet food—such as lemon juice in a honey jar. This could lead to a discussion about using sweet and uplifting words (see verses 9–14).
Give each child a simple drawing of a person speaking. Invite the children to hold it up when you say something nice that we can do with our words (such as telling the truth, giving compliments, and offering to help someone) and put it down when you say something that we shouldn’t do with our tongues (such as telling lies, calling other people names, and refusing to obey a parent).(Come, Follow Me—For Primary: New Testament 2023 “James”)
Friend June 2023 “I Can Follow Jesus by Using Good Words”
Activity Time: Match the good words with the picture. How can you use good words?
Reinforce the message of James 3:1–13 by singing together a song about being kind, such as “Kindness Begins with Me” (Children’s Songbook, 145).(Come, Follow Me—For Primary: New Testament 2023 “James”)
Em Is Crafty “Come Follow Me 2019 Lesson 42”
TOOTHPASTE WORDS: The words we speak have the power to hurt or bless others. Get a small tube of
toothpaste. Let family members take turns squeezing some of it out onto a plate until it’s empty. Challenge them to get the toothpaste back into the tube. Help them see that once it’s been squeezed out, you can’t put it back in. Similarly, words are hard to take back. Once we speak hurtful words to or about someone, we can’t take them back. Are the words we’re saying words that would hurt or lift others? How can we be better at blessing others with our words?
I can speak with kindness.(Sr)
Is there someone in the ward, perhaps one of the children you teach, who has worked with horses or knows something about boats? You could invite him or her to provide insights about James’s teachings in James 3:3–4 about using kind words. Or provide some of your own insights. What do we learn about controlling our tongues from these examples?(Come, Follow Me—For Primary: New Testament 2023 “James”)
Invite the children to read James 3:1–13 and to draw a picture of something they find that teaches about controlling our tongues. Give them time to share their pictures and what they learned. Sing together a song about using kind words, such as “Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words” (Hymns, no. 232). (Come, Follow Me—For Primary: New Testament 2023 “James”)
- “Bugs and Brothers.” In this Friend story, Lacey learns that she doesn’t have to be angry at her brother Zach.
- “The Right Reply.” Emily wants to write a mean reply when her friend sends her a mean email, but then she thinks of what Jesus would do and responds kindly. (From the Friend.)
After reviewing James 3:1–13 together, review the standards for language in For the Strength of Youth ([booklet, 2022], 12). Help the children set a goal to improve the way they speak to others, and encourage them to ask Heavenly Father to help them with this goal. (Come, Follow Me—For Primary: New Testament 2023 “James”)
Children and Youth Development: Goals and Activities
Goal Ideas
- Make a list of kind, positive things you could say to those around you. Post this list where you can see it every day as a reminder.
- Look for examples in the scriptures of how the Savior spoke to those around Him. How did His words teach, lift, and help others? Write in your journal the impressions you receive about how you can follow the Savior’s example.
- Your thoughts affect your words. Do you have unkind thoughts about someone? Every time you have an unkind thought about someone, think of something positive about the person instead. You’ll be more likely to speak kindly, and you might even find a new friend!
- How do you and your friends talk about others? Set an example of using kind words. For example, if your friends start gossiping about someone, find a kind way to stand up for that person or change the subject. You could even ask your friends to join you in your goal to speak kindly about others.
Em Is Crafty “Come Follow Me 2019 Lesson 42”
TOOTHPASTE WORDS: The words we speak have the power to hurt or bless others. Get a small tube of
toothpaste. Let family members take turns squeezing some of it out onto a plate until it’s empty. Challenge them to get the toothpaste back into the tube. Help them see that once it’s been squeezed out, you can’t put it back in. Similarly, words are hard to take back. Once we speak hurtful words to or about someone, we can’t take them back. Are the words we’re saying words that would hurt or lift others? How can we be better at blessing others with our words?
Friend May 2019 “For Parents of Little Ones” Teaching little ones to use kind words.
Handout
Friend July 2025 “Your Words Matter”
